: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
