can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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