obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
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