I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
