I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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