found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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