i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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