i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I have feelings that need drinking.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
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