One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
