it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
