She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
