We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
