who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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