You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize