She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
