so that wasnt chicken after all
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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