My cat gives me a boner
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
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