i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
