WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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