If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
The power of my boobs compel you
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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