Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize