elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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