Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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