somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
My bed smells like the plague
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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