try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
