I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Only a mothe r could love this liver
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize