I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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