You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
