Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
