don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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