Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
