No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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