i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize