Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I enjoy the company of your penis
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
