evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Randomize
