you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
