I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
