I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
