I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
