real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
We have so much sex to catch up on
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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