i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
