Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
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