Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize