don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
