and next time when you feel me up, do it right
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize