I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
