Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
