I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize