Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
