Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Randomize
