I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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