Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
