made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
i think i just naturally attract stoners
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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