just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
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