I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
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