matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
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