he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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