once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize