I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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