I molested 6 butterflies tonight
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
