Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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