I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize