Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
