i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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