And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
