Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
