This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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