By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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