that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
