Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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