If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
