dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
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