This girl is more easily done than said...
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize