If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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