Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Randomize
