Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I woke up under a house in Key West
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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