DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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