friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize