I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
We have started to decorate penises.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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