So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize