Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
