would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I take back everything I said about communal showers
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
