He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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