she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
