just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
