oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
