You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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