Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
