My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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